Used to be, somebody threw litter on you lawn or in your driveway, you could retaliate. But not today. No way! These days, people are being paid to throw litter in my yard! I'm not kidding -at least once a week, this joker, undercover of darkness, does a drive-by at my house with a wad of newsprint in a plastic bag that I will, later, have to pay for the privilege of having removed. What's worse -I'm expected to go out, pick it up, carry it to the garbage can and drag it out to the road, a couple of days later. What is this country coming to?
I tried being a nice guy, at first. Believe me -it was a stretch! I called the number of the printer that lay claim to the contents of the plastic bag and "requested" to have the "deliveries" stopped. They told me it couldn't be done, because they only print the crap they don't deliver it. "What?!" That is "outsourced" to another agency, they tell me.
They didn't bother to give me a name, so, tomorrow morning, dark and early, I'm gonna be waiting for that sucka, and I'm going to egg his car. When he slams on his brakes and comes back to threaten me, I won't even bring up that turnabout is fair play, I'll just say that I was paid to do it. Even eggs can be outsourced.
No comments:
Post a Comment